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Santai : Cerita utk exercise muka..

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Suatu hari Ali minum teh di gerai Mamak yang biasa dikunjunginya. Tiba² Mamak gerai tersebut bersorak gembira dan terus datang kepadanya.

Ali : Apa yang suka sangat Mamak ni?
Mamak : Saya bini juga surat India mari.
Ali : Apa dia cakap? Tentu good news…………………..
Mamak : Dalam dia punya surat ada cakap sudah beranak. New baby! Ayo….saya banyak suka hati la. Saya belanja awak Free minum jugak!
Ali : Tahniah! Mamak. Ini kena balik India cepat nie ?
Mamak : Ya la, saya sudah 3 tahun tarak balik………

 

Murah

Di sebuah kedai menjual burung, terdapat 2 ekor burung kakaktua. kedua burung itu berbeza, yang satu suka menyanyi dan yang satu lagi hanya diam saja. datang sorang lelaki ingin membeli burung kakak tua . Ia berkata kepada si penjual burung.

Pembeli : Berapa harga burung kakak tua nie.
Penjual : Kalau yang suka menyanyi tue Rm 500, sedangkan yang diam itu RM 1000.
Pembeli : Ha! kenapa yang suka menyanyi lebih murah dari yang diam?
Penjual : yaa..memang berbeza, yang beharga RM 1000 itu adalah pencipta lagunya.

 

Tak Paham

Seorang gadis yang bahasa Ingerisnya kacau-bilau terlanggar seorng pelancong dari Amerika Syarikat ketika berjalan-jalan di sebuah pusat membeli- belah.

Gadis : I’m sorry.
Pelancong : I’m sorry too.

Si gadis kelihatan bingung kerana tidak paham apa yang diperkatakan oleh pelancong itu. Dia meneka-neka dan terus menjawab………

Gadis : I’m sorry Three.
Pelancong : What are you sorry for?
Gadis : I’m sorry five.

 

Just wanna share some funny dialogues =)

Teacher : “Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?”
Pupil : “The moon”.
Teacher : “Why?”
Pupil : “The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don’t need it”.

Teacher : “What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?”
Pupil : “A teacher”.

Waiter : “Would you like your coffee black?”
Customer : “What other colors do you have?”

My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.

Teacher : “Sam, you talk a lot !”
Sam : “It’s a family tradition”.
Teacher : “What do you mean?”
Sam : “Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher”.
Teacher : “What about your mother?”
Sam : “She’s a woman”.

Tom : “How should I convey the news to my father that I’ve failed?”
David: “You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year’s performance repeated”.

Teacher : “Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?”
Student : “Brotherly love”.

Teacher : “Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?”
Sam : “No sir, I don’t have to, my mom is a good cook”.

Patient : “What are the chances of my recovering doctor?”
Doctor : “One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I’ve treated. The others all died”.

Teacher : ” Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?”
One Student : “Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time.”

Teacher : ” George Washington not only chopped down his father’s Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn’t punish him ?”
One Student: ” Because George still had the axe in is hand.”

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